Lucky

As I get started on this string of posts, I want to share how I feel lucky (okay, know I must be lucky because many times I have numb feelings)…

While there have been times I have wanted to curl up into a ball and hide in the corner, I do not believe I have ever had an episode of major depression. My experience has been more of a long drawn out “feeling of nothing” where it is difficult to perform even the simplest “routine tasks.”

I have a loving wife who has stuck with me well past the point of frustration. Frequently she epitomizes the meaning of “for better or for worse.”

I have two wonderful children that give me many reasons to keep fighting forward as hard as it seems some days.

My family keeps me from ever “quitting the fight” because I could never put them through more pain than I can imagine.

As I have opened up (a little), I have found people that are understanding and empathize even if they do not fully understand and/or truly believe that depression is a disease. A few years ago I could have easily been one of these same people.

I have faith that I will come out better when the journey is over (or at least out of the steep mountains). At times others questioned the ability to maintain this outlook while being depressed. All I can say is “hay, this is the way I am.”