Newsweek’s cover article is entitled Men and Depression appeared in my mailbox today. It’s a funny thing, I typically do not subscribe to Newsweek but received on of those free convert your expiring airline miles a few months ago and had forgotten I had picked Newsweek until it started showing up about three weeks ago. Sometimes there is a lot to be said for timing. I actually became aware of the article last night and read it through once on-line but wanted to see the printed copy before making any comments. It is amazing how fast thing move in today’s world. I like the article and found much of the information to be consistent with my findings during the last few months. One interesting tidbit is that my printed copy of Newsweek does not have a single advertisement for depression medications, which takes away from some of the conspiracy theories mentioned in the on-line comment section.
Interestingly enough, if I had taken the “simple screening test for doctors to use: Over the last two weeks, have you been bothered by either of the following problems: (a) little interest or pleasure in doing things? Or (b) feeling down, depressed or hopeless?” over a year ago I would have answered “no” to both questions. Now looking back now with 20/20 hindsight (okay maybe not yet 20/20 but definitely less blurred vision) I probably could have answered “yes” to both but to me these two questions are still more appropriate for women then men.
When I first visited my employer’s EAP to try to figure out why I had uncontrollable shaking in my arms. For some reason I realized that it was not just a physical problem and the umpteenth letter of introduction from the EAP company was safely tucked away on a corner of my desk (it turned out to be a year old…so maybe I did not come to my realization as quickly as I should have). Eventually I stumbled into the section of the EAP website that talked about depression and I was surprised when many other symptoms that I would never have suspected were related to depression I had been suffering with for over a year. I took their on-line depression test which gave me a definite “maybe” result but I had not realized at the time that my reasoning ability was skewed.
It took all of the nerve I had to call the help line and discuss the situation with the doctor. Luckily for me I was quickly put in contact with one of head doctor’s who agreed that is sounded like I definitely was a “maybe” for depression but the only accurate method was to visit a psychologist for a complete “by the book” screening. All that they ask was that I commit to making the first appointment and that I agree to give serious consideration to has advice. I agreed and within an hour our two I had an appointment to meet my therapist the next day (a Friday).
At that time I thought telling my wife that I may be depressed was going to be even more difficult than talking to the doctor 3,000 miles away by phone. As it turned out this was much easier than I had anticipated, my wife was very supportive and had known there was something wrong with me for some time. She was very supportive but we both agreed to keep quiet about the situation.
While the results of my “by the book” evaluation was a little more definitive than “maybe,” I was considered to have more of a moderate level of depression, so while I knew something was wrong, I’m not sure I bought into the diagnosis completely. In all honestly, I think there was a small part of me that continued to hold some of the historic views about men and depression being a made up problem. That is until recently when I have turned the corner and can see how screwed up my thinking really was. More on that later.
Back to the article. I applaud Newsweek for bringing front page attention to the problems men have in determining, getting help, and continued social stigma around being depressed. As I have told many people, I know that I never felt sad, unhappy, blue, or any of the other terms typically associated with depression (particularly in women) and I doubt many other men have either. Or, at least we would not use those words to describe how we feel or “don’t feel.”
I will probably have some thoughts another time about the interesting on-line comments provided about the article. It is apparent that many people still struggle believing depression is a medical issue and some of the stereotypes continue.
Scripture-based men and women group for those living with anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder. The goal is to give each other perspective, validation, and support while working through the book, When Saints Sing the Blues. The this group is open to all and meets at Christ Presbyterian Church (CPC) in Huntington Beach, CA, USA. For more information contact the CPC at 714-968-4940.
